My father-in-law has also been my fishing partner for the last few years and recently was told he has a glioblastoma, which is an aggressive brain tumor. He’s just a salt of the earth man that anybody on here would love if they spent time with him.
He’s lost a fair bit of function on his right side, now has tremors, and his mind is fading in and out. He won’t be able to hold or cast a spin caster or a bamboo pole let alone put the boat in.
He has surgery soon and I’m hoping that most of him is still there after the surgery. My wife is a daddy’s girl but she’s putting on a strong front for him since after surgery is radiation, chemo, and palliative care.
Does anybody have suggestions as to as to how I can help him fish one last spring?
Take him out and bobber fish.
My father in law faced a similar ending. He was the same sort of salt of the earth guy, a hard working yankee family man who loved boating, water and fishing. His dying wish was to just go dip his feet in the ocean one last time. It never happened and I still regret not pushing a little harder on the family to make it happen.
Fishing may be a little ambitious in that condition, especially after surgery, but consider just letting him getting his feet wet, or let him watch you land one. He doesn't necessarily have to fish to get a taste of enjoyment.
Maybe just ask him what his wishes are.
My father's last summer was getting rough for him, particularly with mobility. The whole extended family rented a cabin on a northern Wisconsin lake. We rented a pontoon boat which turned out to be ideal. We sat him out front and he fished all week. He even caught a bass on one of his old Bass O'Renos. Ultra light spinning gear allowed him to fish for hours at a time. Very memorable week for all of us.
Same thing happened to my grandfather. He was never an avid tournament fisherman but enjoyed wetting a line every now and then. I was really his only avenue to go fishing because no one else in my family (mom's side anyways, dad's side is a different story) would go out fishing with him. I'm only 18 years old but I can honestly say that one of my biggest regrets that will probably hang over me for a long long time is not taking him fishing. Sure, I have memories of us fishing together but in the moment you don't think it will be the last time. Really wish I would have taken him out and been patient and bobber fish one last time. My biggest advice: Please..please...please take him out and make every attempt to fish one last time.
On 2/20/2019 at 10:31 AM, Choporoz said:My father's last summer was getting rough for him, particularly with mobility. The whole extended family rented a cabin on a northern Wisconsin lake. We rented a pontoon boat which turned out to be ideal. We sat him out front and he fished all week. He even caught a bass on one of his old Bass O'Renos. Ultra light spinning gear allowed him to fish for hours at a time. Very memorable week for all of us.
I was thinking along the same lines.
Ask him what HE wants to do.
He may just want to sit at the end of a dock at sunrise with a cup coffee and a rod across his lap.
Try not to assume anything.
If you do something like that, in a quiet moment ask who he wants to be with him.
Don't be surprised if he says no one.
I wish him all the best.
Mike
So sorry to hear your family is going through this. We had something similar with my father in law a few years ago and he was sadly in a vegetative state after his surgery and passed a couple weeks later. Hope and pray for him to be doing better after surgery and being able to extend his time to make more memories, but don't leave any opportunity to do or say something leading up to surgery since there aren't any guarantees. Sorry to be a bit of a Debbie Downer... regrets are tough to carry and hopefully your family will have a lot less wish we hads when the time comes.
I'm really sorry to hear about your father-in-law's diagnosis. It's never an easy thing for a family to face, but I am delighted to hear that you're willing to help him get back "on" the water in whatever way possible given the limitations he's facing. That being said, many of your Sportsmen's clubs would be more than happy to assist you with this; our clubs up here in frozen Yankeeland host many events (public and private) for folks with limitations.
I also found this article at Alabama Outdoors https://www.outdooralabama.com perhaps you could give them a call to find out where the closest accessible location is for you.
Alabama's Hunting and Fishing Trail for People with Physical Disabilities is a network of public and private recreational sites throughout the state. These facilities provide accessible fishing, shooting, and hunting opportunities for individuals with physical disabilities. These trails were developed by the Alabama Department of Conservation and Natural Resources (ADCNR) in cooperation with a broad range of sponsors. Trail sponsors encourage individuals, families, friends, etc. to visit these sites and experience the joys of recreational fishing, hunting, and shooting.
How Can I Use These Facilities?
The fishing and shooting sites do not require registration. However, all users of these facilities must be properly licensed and abide by the regulations governing these sites.
As for his ability to participate, a stable and comfortable chair, a rod holder and your willingness to assist is all he probably needs. I worked with folks with all types of limitations and a little "hand over hand" help with casting or reeling goes a long way. If that's still too much for him, I'm certain that just being included in a fishing trip will do wonders for him.
There was a gentleman on another fishing forum who's dad was in similar circumstances, he ended up taking his dad to Bass Pro, handed him a rod and sat him in front of the aquarium....crazy as it sounds a fabulous time was had by all...he shared the video and I don't think there was a dry eye on any of us who saw it.
My warmest thoughts and prayers for you and yours.
Thoughts and prayer to him and the entire family. It will be a rough road for all involved. Just look for those small moments of joy, and spending quality time together. I wish you all the best, and miracles happen everyday. God bless my friend!
I lost several fishing partners the past few years and besides actually getting out on the water spending as much time visiting and recalling trips and events helps both of you tremendously. Talk to the living and Pray for him.
Tom
My dad is sill alive bit unable to fish at all . I had a camp on the river and would set him there in the evenings with the st louis cardinals on the radio . We would catch carp and catfish . He slowly got worse . I would tie the hooks , put on the bait , cast it .He finally couldnt even hold the rod anymore but he enjoyed being there . This is the last photo I have of him catching a fish, seven years ago . This might be the last big fish he caught . It got to where he would just sit there and stare . Dementia is a horrible disease .
Lifted.....been there....it's rough. One day at a time is all we can do. My father and I made a trip before he went through a ton of $#@!. So glad we spent some time....we hardly ever had time together. Love the above about just sitting in a chair looking at nature and watching a good ol red and white....sharing quiet and stories. Best of luck to you and yours.
On 2/20/2019 at 8:02 PM, scaleface said:My dad is sill alive bit unable to fish at all . I had a camp on the river and would set him there in the evenings with the st louis cardinals on the radio . We would catch carp and catfish . He slowly got worse . I would tie the hooks , put on the bait , cast it .He finally couldnt even hold the rod anymore but he enjoyed being there . This is the last photo I have of him catching a fish, seven years ago . This might be the last big fish he caught . It got to where he would just sit there and stare . Dementia is a horrible disease .
It is...my dad went through it also. Good for you taking the time
Thoughts and prayers for the family.
On 2/20/2019 at 10:50 AM, Mike L said:I was thinking along the same lines.
Ask him what HE wants to do.
He may just want to sit at the end of a dock at sunrise with a cup coffee and a rod across his lap.
Try not to assume anything.
If you do something like that, in a quiet moment ask who he wants to be with him.
Don't be surprised if he says no one.
I wish him all the best.
Mike
this is what I did with my dad...…………...
So sorry for you to go through this. I really like @Mike L's suggestion. I'm thinking he may simply enjoy watching you catch. Who knows? Main thing is to communicate with him while you can. We're all here for you need to talk or just vent.
My 71-year-old brother-in-law had the same diagnosis and had a tennis ball sized tumor removed from his brain last April. He had radiation and chemo for a month and now takes chemo one week per month. His memory comes and goes, but he's is living independently - with some help with scheduling and calling the insurance company, etc. - and still travels some by plane to Florida and Ecuador to visit friends.
You just never know how the doctors' predictions will work out. Good luck to your FIL and you and yours.
Sorry to hear of your troubles. I never got to take my dad on his last trip as cancer took him very quickly. If your able to get him into a boat take him to the place you loved to fish and talk about the memories you both shared, enjoy a gd laugh, and most of all thank him for all his time and the memories you will cherish forever. Best of luck & God bless.
My father-in-law is having surgery this morning at 9am Central.
@HeyCoach prayers are with your father in law and your family. I hope he makes a full recovery and afterwards you can enjoy some time on or near the water.
His surgery went ok. The surgeon said he got everything he could and that he’ll have about 48 weeks left...
I have a customer in my M-F job that also hires me to take him fishing. Two years ago he brought along his dad. When his dad got out of their truck, he was wheeling oxygen and he was a big fella. Once we got him into his seat on the boat, he didn't move but once to stand and pee. He fished all afternoon surrounded by three extra bottles of oxygen. Early the next spring one Monday morning, the son called me at my office. He always emailed orders so a call was odd. He wanted to tell me his dad died that weekend. Fishing with me the previous summer was the last time his dad ever fished and the last they fished together. He said his dad never stopped talking about that trip until the day he died. He wanted to tell me what it meant to his dad and to him. I'll always remember that trip and that call. Please, get an old fisherman out to fish, it will mean more than you know.
It's not about fishing......
Bobber and dropshot...
Enjoy the moments!
Sorry to hear that. The easiest way I can think of is bobber fishing in a chair. It doesn't require much energy/exertion.
Well, this update saddens me.
The FIL has had setbacks due to medicines causing damage to some organs and he’s not a candidate for radiation/chemo.
The 48 weeks we were given has been whittled down to two months or so. And that was before getting more bad news. So it may be sooner than that.
It sucks that bad things happen to good people .
On 4/12/2019 at 7:52 AM, HeyCoach said:Well, this update saddens me.
The FIL has had setbacks due to medicines causing damage to some organs and he’s not a candidate for radiation/chemo.
The 48 weeks we were given has been whittled down to two months or so. And that was before getting more bad news. So it may be sooner than that.
@HeyCoach I am so very sorry to hear of this set back... please know my most heartfelt thoughts are with you and yours. If you don't mind a small boney shoulder, mine is here for you anytime it's needed, just send a PM. Hang in there.
Oh man. That's sad news. So sorry. If there's anything we can do....
I'm so sorry to hear that man.
I'll have him, you and your family in my thoughts.
Once again I bow my head and pray for you all....hope you can maybe find a way to maybe just sit by the water and remember the good times. If there's a bobber involved great...if not...it's ok.
All the best.
I don't think there is really anything I can add to this, nor do I have experience with something of this nature.
I will say that this thread is a testament to how great the people in this forum are! The BR Family impresses me all the time
I wish you and your father in law the best.
Y’all, I enjoy coming here and posting, and even meeting a few at the Classic.
We appreciate the kind words, thoughts, and prayers. It means a lot. He won’t be able to go fishing, but we can watch it together.
Just need to to see what he wants to do.
As the situation is difficult, but still ...
Take him out fishing
@HeyCoach I’m sorry to hear the progression and what the drs are saying. But I am glad at least you are getting to spend time together, relive and even make some new happy memories hopefully in this time of darkness. Cherish the time you have and wishing your family strength and courage.
I’m afraid that today or tomorrow is it.
We didn’t have a chance to be able to take him fishing, he was not mentally or physically able to even be out of bed.
I’ve not fished yet this year, but when I was at the Classic I bought a Stanford Boom Boom frog in the Officer Frog color pattern since he was with the local PD for over 30 years. I want to catch my first bass on that since it’s black and blue. I told him I bought it because of him being with the department for so much of his life and retiring as Captain.
Praying for you and your family, hope you wear em out with that frog!
Sorry to hear that.
@HeyCoach my heart is with you and yours....take extra good care of yourself and your family, and because this is your FIL...Please let your wife know we are with her too.
^^ Couldn't say it any better than that ^^
We are with you.
Prayers and thoughts with you coach. I don’t think I could possibly add to the sentiments that have already been expressed.
Sorry to hear that. I lost a friend earlier this year to brain cancer. Regardless of fishing ability, I'm sure your FIL would appreciate the opportunity to get out on the water. Being on the water has a way of making you forget your problems for while.
We just lost him.
Ahhh
I'm so so sorry Coach.
May He Rest In Peace.
Condolenses from my family to his.
Mike
On 5/3/2019 at 11:06 AM, HeyCoach said:We just lost him.
Not easy....not at all...savor the memories...make some new ones...
On 5/3/2019 at 11:06 AM, HeyCoach said:We just lost him.
We lost my FIL 5 years ago last week. My thoughts are with you and your family.
So sorry for your loss.
Prayers to you and your family.
So sorry for your loss.