Can't believe I'm asking this but how do I fool my wife? LOL 2024
pauldconyers reply :
I'm REALLY planning on loading up on gear once the Black Friday sales hit Tackle Warehouse. I have squirreled away some cash to pay for these purchases, the problem is my wife watches our bank account like a hawk and all my payment methods are linked to our bank account. When I pay she will see the money come out of the account and me merely pointing out I have the cash to go reimburse my account isn't going to save me a butt chewing. I don't want to do something shady like go open up a new bank account she doesn't know about or drag a friend into this by making him pay for it and I pay him back for it. Can I go somewhere and buy Visa gift cards or something then go use them on Tackle Warehouse and pay with them? If I hypothetically wanted $500 in gift cards do I only have to pay $500 for them or do they charge a percentage or whatever? Is there a better option here?
GReb reply :
I believe they make you pay like a $5 activation fee.
Good luck!
MN Fisher reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 10:57 AM, pauldconyers said:If I hypothetically wanted $500 in gift cards do I only have to pay $500 for them or do they charge a percentage or whatever? Is there a better option here?
Every gift card I've purchased cost $5.95 in addition to what you put on it - doesn't matter if it's $50 or $500.
jbsoonerfan reply :
Well, I have a lot to say about this.....but for fear of no longer being a member of the forum, I will keep it simple.
Don't try to hide anything from your wife, be a man.
Pfisher reply :
We both have some extra income streams coming in so that isn't an issue with my wife and I. If it doesn't come out of joint money (all of our incomes have always been joint) then it's fair game and no one says a word. So if you have been saving money then it shouldn't matter, or it seems that way to me.
Koz reply :
After you buy gift cards behind her back make sure to Google divorce attorney's in your area.
Instead, surprise her with a nice diamond necklace or bracelet before the Black Friday or Cyber Monday sales. Then leave your computer on with the Tackle Warehouse gift cards page displayed. She'll get the hint.
a1712 reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 10:57 AM, pauldconyers said:I'm REALLY planning on loading up on gear once the Black Friday sales hit Tackle Warehouse. I have squirreled away some cash to pay for these purchases, the problem is my wife watches our bank account like a hawk and all my payment methods are linked to our bank account. When I pay she will see the money come out of the account and me merely pointing out I have the cash to go reimburse my account isn't going to save me a butt chewing. I don't want to do something shady like go open up a new bank account she doesn't know about or drag a friend into this by making him pay for it and I pay him back for it. Can I go somewhere and buy Visa gift cards or something then go use them on Tackle Warehouse and pay with them? If I hypothetically wanted $500 in gift cards do I only have to pay $500 for them or do they charge a percentage or whatever? Is there a better option here?
I hope you're joking. I've never or WILL NEVER need my Wife's approval for anything, nor does she need mine. I did get upset with her last year when she brought a new Hybrid RAV4 home. Not that she purchased it but because it's kind of purplish color and I ain't borrowing that. Brian.
Fishes in trees reply :
To echo jbsoonerfan, man up, son. You've saved up some money that you want to buy some toys with. Go buy toys.
Bass_Fishing_Socal reply :
Yes be a man, BUY FIRST, ASK LATER.
dont you ever hide anything from the WIFE. They have eyes like hawk, been there done that.
Here example of what I got a couple days ago.
DanielG reply :
Um.... is this a weird conversation or is it me? My wife and I have joint accounts and the same checkbook and visa/debit cards. We talk about purchases and decide on what is best for the both of us because in the long run it affects both of us. Sometimes it's her purchase that is decided on, sometimes it's mine. We pursue the most frugal path (meaning, the best bang for the buck). She knows I have pursuits I feel compelled to follow up on and I know she has hers. We're sensitive to both. Sometimes we can and sometimes we can't, but it's known to both of us.
It's not "man up and tell her the truth". It's, why do you need to even have to consider to be up front about things or not? Almost seems like a father daughter, or mother son relationship way of doing things. When young I had to either ask permission or if not hide things. I haven't done that as an adult.
pauldconyers reply :
I can certainly do without anyone making personal comments on this situation, my marriage or how they'd deal with this situation. For those who wish to worry about my personal life I've saved up enough money from side work to make sure my wife and 2 sons have a very Merry Christmas, thank you very much. As I'm sure most of yours don't my wife doesn't understand my fishing obsession and would never understand spending 200+ on a fishing reel. If I was just purchasing local this would be a simple deal and I'd go pay cash and she'd never know the details of the purchase. I was merely asking for ideas on how to accomplish the same thing through an online situation where I wouldn't have to pay through our bank account. Everyone's marriage/situation is different and I don't need anyone commenting on how they'd handle it.
moguy1973 reply :
I don't know if I could be in a relationship where I couldn't spend the money I've saved for things. Sounds like a control and trust issue to me. If she has an issue with what you spend your hard earned money on then maybe it wasn't meant to be. Now if you are spending money you don't have and above your means, then that's a problem and you should probably take care of your bills before buying fishing gear. But it sounds like you've socked some money away for this so that shouldn't be a problem.
OkobojiEagle reply :
I hope these macho dudes giving advice above are better anglers than marriage counselors. Pare your list down to what's acceptable for your family and master the tools you have to catch a bass... they're really not that hard to catch once they're found.
oe
moguy1973 reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 9:08 PM, pauldconyers said:I can certainly do without anyone making personal comments on this situation, my marriage or how they'd deal with this situation. For those who wish to worry about my personal life I've saved up enough money from side work to make sure my wife and 2 sons have a very Merry Christmas, thank you very much. As I'm sure most of yours don't my wife doesn't understand my fishing obsession and would never understand spending 200+ on a fishing reel. If I was just purchasing local this would be a simple deal and I'd go pay cash and she'd never know the details of the purchase. I was merely asking for ideas on how to accomplish the same thing through an online situation where I wouldn't have to pay through our bank account. Everyone's marriage/situation is different and I don't need anyone commenting on how they'd handle it.
You did open yourself up to this on a public forum.
A-Jay reply :
If you exchanged marriage vows with your wife, perhaps go back and re-read those.
And then, here's a novel idea - actually live by them.
Good Luck
A-Jay
jbsoonerfan reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 9:08 PM, pauldconyers said:I can certainly do without anyone making personal comments on this situation, my marriage or how they'd deal with this situation. For those who wish to worry about my personal life I've saved up enough money from side work to make sure my wife and 2 sons have a very Merry Christmas, thank you very much. As I'm sure most of yours don't my wife doesn't understand my fishing obsession and would never understand spending 200+ on a fishing reel. If I was just purchasing local this would be a simple deal and I'd go pay cash and she'd never know the details of the purchase. I was merely asking for ideas on how to accomplish the same thing through an online situation where I wouldn't have to pay through our bank account. Everyone's marriage/situation is different and I don't need anyone commenting on how they'd handle it.
Yet, you asked.........When I said "Be a man" I wasn't saying it in a way where it was you buying whatever you want. It was to tell you that you shouldn't hide anything from your wife. If you don't want marital advice, don't start a thread asking how to hide things from your wife.
Maybe breathe a little bit and slow down with all the threads, I think you are starting to start some where you don't like the answers.
onenutinthewater reply :
Give it to the girlfriend and have her use her card????
Tizi reply :
Should be your money and should be able to spend on what you want. My wife and I have joint AND separate accounts. We both get allowance every payday. The allowance goes into our individual accounts from
the joint.
probably best to just say, hey honey I am buying fishing gear on BF. I’ll be putting $500 cash into the account to cover the spend. Thanks!
Mobasser reply :
I've been married to the same woman for 36 yrs. I've never hidden anything from her. That's why I'm still married to her.
flyfisher reply :
Just tell her what you are getting and move on. It isn't that complicated really. You deposit the cash and then spend said cash on the items you want to purchase. If you are worried about spending money you saved up that isn't part of the household budget/finances you have much bigger things to worry about than a ticked off wife over some fishing purchases.
CrankFate reply :
Fishing gear is easy. What are you going to do when you need things like new TV’s, a new home theater, and speakers mounted on the walls?
She’ll probably never see the rods, and reels are so little she’ll never see them. Forget about bank account numbers. Because, at some point, you’re going to buy things that she’s going to have to see every single day.
I’m not saying go blow all your money on stuff you don’t have the money for. This is a bigger problem than fishing gear. Especially when you’re saying you will reimburse your account. You have some serious stuff to talk about.
dodgeguy reply :
I hid things from my wife. They find out. Results are not good. You're better off fighting over it now.
Logan S reply :
So you don't want to be shady by getting a secret bank account or setting up a straw-purchase with a buddy....But you want help figuring out how to launder your secret cash stash in TW gift cards? Because that's somehow less shady? ????
Hiding things from your wife, especially money, is not advisable. If you're going to do it, don't hide it.
This is all just my opinion of course.
pauldconyers reply :
Thank you for all the wonderful advice. Thread closed and done. Geez...
fishballer06 reply :
It's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.
MickD reply :
It goes like this around here: "How many rods do you need? Don't you have enough fishing tackle?"
Response: "How many purses do you need? Don't you have enough pairs of shoes?"
I bought an inexpensive boat one time without first consulting her, and she's never forgotten. Nor have I. I don't try to trick her; I just do it and take my lumps. Trickery in any form isn't the right solution here. I simply explain that rod-building is my hobby and I'll probably never have enough rods, and that tackle purchases are based on replenishing and buying newly introduced stuff. I also explain that different techniques require different equipment, a lot like different occasions require different shoes. I don't think she understands or totally agrees, but she's not going to divorce me over it. She is in fact more frugal than I, and i appreciate that. But we are two different people who need to be ourselves. As you do.
Works for us. I don't think tricking is the right thing to do. I think A-Jay has a good ideal about the wedding vows.
You two should be able to have an honest and rational discussion over this. If you are taking food off the table or clothes off her back to finance your fishing, which is unlikely, then you need to reconsider your purchasing behavior.
MN Fisher reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 10:42 PM, Mobasser said:I've been married to the same woman for 36 yrs. I've never hidden anything from her. That's why I'm still married to her.
Next year will be 30 for me and my wife - I've never hidden anything from her. Even with the annual Yule Gift from the parents, which is all my money to do what I please with, I still tell her what I'm buying and why.
On 11/16/2019 at 11:39 PM, fishballer06 said:It's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.
Dunno if you're married or how long...but no - no it isn't. It always comes back to bite you on the rear end, eventually.
WRB reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 11:43 AM, jbsoonerfan said:Well, I have a lot to say about this.....but for fear of no longer being a member of the forum, I will keep it simple.
Don't try to hide anything from your wife, be a man.
^^^^this^^^^
You learn your wife knows how to keep spending away from you, it never works out well the other way around.
Tom
Shimano_1 reply :
As some have already stated, the day I need permission from my wife to spend money I've earned is the day she probably wont be my wife any longer. I tell her if I'm going to spend a chunk just to be polite. I understand some people operate a little differently but this seems absurd to me. Maybe if she made all the money and you stayed home I could see her having more "control". My advice would be to tell her you're buying fishing gear that you've been saving for and refuse to argue about it. Good luck
Bass_Fishing_Socal reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 11:00 PM, CrankFate said:
She’ll probably never see the rods, and reels are so little she’ll never see them. Forget about bank account numbers. Because, at some point, you’re going to buy things that she’s going to have to see every single day..
Last time my niece count all my rods in front of my wife, scare the hell out of me lol. But actually she knows since she can count all the rod tube from shipping that I safe in the garage.
Koz reply :
Swamp Yankee reply :
I never buy anything over $10 besides gasoline for my truck and groceries for the camper without talking with my wife first... boat gas I tell her about, too.
I would suggest to anyone in your position to talk to their wife about having a dedicated amount of money set aside to fund their hobbies. Explain that the best time to buy is off season during sales. Then keep your purchases within that budget.
I try my best to pay for new gear with money raised by selling off old gear. But since I sometimes give my wife all the proceeds from the sale of something, (guitar, ukulele, banjo, boat, gun) she gives me some leeway for the most part.... when we can afford it.
I feel for anybody whose spouse denies them a reasonable amount of money for the things they love to do when they’re bringing enough money in so that the expense does not cause hardship in the family. And if it does cause hardship, you ought not buy the stuff in the first place.
NYWayfarer reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 10:57 AM, pauldconyers said:I don't want to do something shady
Then don’t. If you get caught it’s a worse “butt-chewing” then buying the items and reimbursing the account.
Do the right thing, even when it’s hard.
Sweet Tater Pie reply :
Don’t go behind her back. Just tell her how it means a lot to you, and these will be the best deals of the year. Show her how you can afford it, but don’t sneak around. Telling her and coming to an agreement will build a whole new level of trust to your relationship.
Make the smart choice
Joe
Derek1 reply :
Save up $200 more. Then send her to get hair and nails done for the holidays. On her way out the door let her know your ordering stuff.
DanielG reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 10:57 AM, pauldconyers said:Is there a better option here?
On 11/16/2019 at 9:08 PM, pauldconyers said:I can certainly do without anyone making personal comments on this situation, my marriage or how they'd deal with this situation.
From your first post then later on. I assumed a conversation of the method of doing this was implied from your question.
813basstard reply :
Leave her.
Meet strange women.
Have them sponsor your fishing.
Pound beers during the process.
Go back to wife when you both realize your to old to start over.
Buy more tackle.
NorcalBassin reply :
Since you've already set some cash aside for these purchases and want to keep the amount on the down low, your best bet to make that work is to just use a visa gift card. I have to admit, I was entertained when I read your post and saw that it was #666. Thought I was maybe being tested and my wife hacked your account or something.
Hammer 4 reply :
After 50 years of marriage, we both learned to Share..
GreenPig reply :
My wife can smell new rods,reels, and swimbaits.???? This at my wife's back while she's on the home computer and she can count.
fishballer06 reply :
On 11/17/2019 at 12:21 AM, MN Fisher said:Dunno if you're married or how long...but no - no it isn't. It always comes back to bite you on the rear end, eventually.
It's worked just fine for me the last 3.5 years. My wife and I are fortunate enough to have enough money to buy the things that we want (within means) without having to worry about. She knows that if I buy a new reel/rod/gun/whatever, then it means that I have funds to make that purchase and still pay the bills. Same goes for her whenever she buys whatever it is that pleases her.
MN Fisher reply :
On 11/18/2019 at 9:34 AM, fishballer06 said:She knows that if I buy a new reel/rod/gun/whatever, then it means that I have funds to make that purchase and still pay the bills.
So she knows and doesn't care. The OP is trying to hide his fishing purchases from his wife - big difference.
J.Dave reply :
As evidenced by my presence on this site, I LOVE to fish and I'm a lady. A very close second to my love of fishing is catching a fab deal. That being said, maybe involve your lady in your black friday deal hunting. It would be couple's time. You'd both win using one of her strongest skill sets. Not to generalize but most girls like that kind of thing. Then, she will know exactly what you want and BONUS you won't have as many "Dad" gifts (although I'm sure their always quite useful, side eye) under the tree.
Etxwormwiggler reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 11:15 PM, dodgeguy said:I hid things from my wife. They find out. Results are not good. You're better off fighting over it now.
I won’t hide them from my wife, but I won’t fight over it either. I make the money, so I also have to be considerate that she doesn’t have money to play with. When I buy myself something, I typically buy her something equal value.
Delaware Valley Tackle reply :
I guess I’m spoiled. My wife is more apt to push me to buy something nice for myself once in a while. I stopped and looked at a Tracker Heritage on display without saying much. She ordered one that night and told me the next day! It’s a two way street though. I see to that.
mrpao reply :
On 1/7/2020 at 7:05 AM, Delaware Valley Tackle said:I guess I’m spoiled. My wife is more apt to push me to buy something nice for myself once in a while. I stopped and looked at a Tracker Heritage on display without saying much. She ordered one that night and told me the next day! It’s a two way street though. I see to that.
Maybe you should've been looking at a 21' nitro.
schplurg reply :
The guy says twice that he does not want marital advice and that's virtually all he gets because he "asked for it". Oh well outrage and virtue signaling is all the rage these days.
Gift card.
Have a friend buy it.
PayPal.
Randy Price reply :
On 11/16/2019 at 11:15 PM, dodgeguy said:I hid things from my wife. They find out. Results are not good. You're better off fighting over it now.
@dodgeguy is right on the money. I had a firearms obsession for years. Would buy/sell/trade all the time loosing money often. I didn't tell my wife I had been dipping into our savings. When she found out (which eventually they always do) it almost cost me a divorce. That happened 15 years ago and she still doesn't trust me 100% when it comes to money. We now have separate checking accounts which on one hand I like but feel it has affected the intimacy of our marriage. In retrospect I would not recommend it.
NYWayfarer reply :
Guys the OP is past this, crisis averted. He is active on these forums since then looking to purchase deep cranking reels and Strike King line.
pauldconyers reply :
On 1/8/2020 at 2:35 AM, NYWayfarer said:Guys the OP is past this, crisis averted. He is active on these forums since then looking to purchase deep cranking reels and Strike King line.
Correct. We talked and are good so move on.
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