i told my wife the other day my day's off were coming next weekend and since our anniversary is the first week of june and i'll probably be on the rig that day if she wanted to go see this play and stay at a bed and breakfast next weekend (like she's been wanting to do for a long time). i then asked her if she wanted to drive her own vehicle so i could go ahead and pull my boat since i would be close to lake to fish mon. thru wed. after her reaction to that i told her we would go together and come home sun. then i would leave mon. morning to fish. this morning she told me to just go ahead and go fishing all 5 day's because if she had to have her annivesary weekend revolve around a fishing trip, no thanks. so i guess i'll just do that but what did i say that was so wrong. her > me :-/ ;D
Uh oh.... It sounds like you put fishing before her and yall's anniversary, not good. You messed up by mentioning anniversary and fishing in the same conversation. Im no doctor Phil but maybe she feels like you just want to get through the anniversary so you can hurry and go fishing. just my thoughts, good luck.
You put fishing and anniversary in the same paragraph.
WOW!!!!!
How long have you been married for???
Your plan makes sense....TO A MAN!!!
To a woman....not so much!!!!
But now...it can NOT be undone.....take the rig, you're dead anyway!!! ;D
ajr
I guess that would be the advantage to common law? no anniversary to follow ;D
QuoteYou put fishing and anniversary in the same paragraph.
i know, i'm an idiot. should have done the weekend thing then told her about the fishing trip an hour before i left.
You should have finished the weekend and then invited her to go fishing with you. Of course she would have then turned you down and given you her blessing.
QuoteI guess that would be the advantage to common law? no anniversary to follow ;D
Around here when someone says they are common law married that only means they are too closely related to get a marriage license.
fluke you are so wise you must have been married a long time this is our 10 year.
No, This Febuary she said she didn't want to do anything so I went fishing on our Anniversary. Bad Move.
I'm telling you from experiance.
3 DON'TS to a happy marriage:
1. DON'T utter the word threesome.
2. DON'T ever mention her weight.
3. DON'T try to mix fishng and anniversary.
And never believe...
...I'm not mad.
...it's OK.
...nothing's wrong.
...I don't want anything for {insert occassion}.
...no one can compete with you.
QuoteAround here when someone says they are common law married that only means they are too closely related to get a marriage license.
;D I will remember that.
Hey Toolpush, might want to try this:
Baby I love you more than anything, even more than fishing! Really I do. I mean I think about you every time I'm out there having a great time and I know you are here by yourself with nothing to do and totally bored. It really makes me appreciate you more knowing that you sacrifice spending quality time with me just so I can go out to the lake and have the time of my life. And gosh your wonderful, I can't think of any other woman that would put up with this as often as you do. Thats why I love you so much because you let me do as I please without regard for yourself! Don't we have a great marriage? I bet all couples wish they had it as good as we do, Huh?
That ought to git r dun!
Come to think of it, maybe you shouldn't say any of that. After 10 years, this aint your first rodeo and I bet it won't be your last. You'll figure it out.
Good luck with her, I'm sure she's a keeper!
Big O
www.ragetail.com
Trying to reason with a woman was the first and most deadly thing you did.
Anniversary first & fishing second! :
Sounds like a plan to me
this thread scares me as I prepare to get married in august! ;D
Quotethis thread scares me as I prepare to get married in august! ;D
As long as you tell her up front that she is welcome to go fishing with you whenever you want to go fishing, you should be just fine.
Big O
www.ragetail.com
QuoteBut now...it can NOT be undone.....take the rig, you're dead anyway!!! ;D
ajr
This could possibly be the worst advice I have ever seen. Following this course of action could lead to a real disaster. Take it from a guy who's been married for 41 years, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
flippincrazy, A single man doesn't know what happiness is, 'till he gets married.........and then it's too late
toolpush,if you think she was serious when she said "go ahead and go fishing for the whole 5 days".........BOY! I can't even think of anything funny for this ! You, my friend, have stepped in DEEP DODO :'(! R.I.P...
As Ever,
skillet
Think so George????
Notice the laughing face!!!!
Whew!!!!
ajr
It's so hard to type sarcastically.
So do most of you guys get to keep your balls on your person or does your wife carry them in her purse most of the time?
QuoteThink so George????Notice the laughing face!!!!
Whew!!!!
ajr
Sorry, missed the laughing face.
You are right Fluke. We'll have to come up with that smiley!!!
ajr
QuoteNo, This Febuary she said she didn't want to do anything so I went fishing on our Anniversary. Bad Move.I'm telling you from experiance.
Wow Gene. I got the impression you were smarter than this. LOL
Just another goofy fisherman like the rest of us
Well, our anniversary falls on a Wednesday next month and when I asked my wife if she was going to take the day off from work, she said no. I told her that I'd go fishing that day until she gets home. No problems here:o)
OK boys, pull up a chair. All you have to do is prove to her that you really do love her more than fishing and you will likely never have to miss another fishing trip. Plan a fishing trip that is not tied to anniversaries, her birthday, or any other special occasion. Talk it up for weeks in advance, then when it comes time to go on the fishing trip, cancel out and tell her as much as you had looked forward to this trip, you just really need to stay at home and be with her. If you can convince her that you really do love her more than fishing, (and you should) then fishing ceases to be a threat to the relationship. Fishing time can very well become that special gift she can give to you to show her affection. Try it!
Ronnie
Advice from a woman who has been married 14 years to an avid fisherman.
After you apologize to her for your thoughtlessness, reassure her that she means much more to you than fishing. Then explain to her that you would really like to include her in your hobby and that you would really like to be included in hers. Tell her to pack for however may days that you plan on being out of town and that you have some surprises for her to show her how much she means to you. She will pout, but she will go. If she asks about the boat, tell her its part of the surprise.
Some ideas. Call the bed and breakfast, theater, etc. and ask them what they do special for anniversaries. Spend every minute of the week romancing and doing stuff that she likes to do just with her. In addition, Splurge a little-a ten year anniversary is special to a women. Get her some small gifts, flowers, etc. to give her periodically through the weekend. Tell her she looks beautiful
Then Monday- Wed. You should take her on the lake one day, don't fish too long and don't fish the whole time. Do some joy riding, talk to her about your hobby and have her talk to you about hers. If she reads or works crosswords, etc, have her a book handy or whatever that you picked up yourself just for her. You might even have the bed and breakfast fix you a romantic picnic lunch for the bank.
The rest of the week you should be able to fish, but make sure you come in before dinner and that you have dinner/evening plans that you planned based on your wife's interests. In addition make sure you have her some activities planned while your fishing each day. Know where the shops are, book her a tour, whatever, (the local chamber of commerce should be able to help you with this.) Discuss the different things at dinner and you might want to offer some spending money. But, by all means,l her that you missed her company while you were on the lake. This shows her that you are taking her needs into your consideration and that she is special to you.
Hope this helps.
Bekki
QuoteOK boys, pull up a chair. All you have to do is prove to her that you really do love her more than fishing and you will likely never have to miss another fishing trip. Plan a fishing trip that is not tied to anniversaries, her birthday, or any other special occasion. Talk it up for weeks in advance, then when it comes time to go on the fishing trip, cancel out and tell her as much as you had looked forward to this trip, you just really need to stay at home and be with her. If you can convince her that you really do love her more than fishing, (and you should) then fishing ceases to be a threat to the relationship. Fishing time can very well become that special gift she can give to you to show her affection. Try it!Ronnie
You nailed it ronnie!
I remember once i did that...let's just say i might have missed a day of fishing...but i still had "THE BEST" day that day.If you get my drift..
Right on Bekki!!
By the way...can we all come live with you??? ;D
ajr
P.S.
MODS GIVE BEKKI HER OWN FORUM TOPIC BOX SO SHE CAN HELP US ALL OUT PLEASE!!!!
ASK BEKKI....I like it!!!!!!
ajr
Days you NEVER fish:
Anniversary
Her birthday
Valentine's Day
Mother's Day
Christmas
Is that too much to ask?
This leaves 360 days in the year for fishing.
:
hey guy's and gal's, thanks for all the great input and advice we'll work this out or i'll just load up and go to amistad for 5 day's, at this point i don't think we could stand the car ride together so escape seems the plausible thing to do, and deal with it when i get home. then hope i'm not stuck out at work on our real anniversary date (june 6) so i can come up with an ingeneous way to work myself into her good graces. by the way, my wifes "hobby' is volunteering 50+ hours a week as director of a thrift shop raising funds for a womens recovery center and recovery support groups. she stays quite busy. even though i am a selfish pig. Man I Love That Gal. thanks again.
or how about....
just don't get married! ;D
suckers, all of you! 8-)
QuoteSo do most of you guys get to keep your balls on your person or does your wife carry them in her purse most of the time?
My wife hands them over when she...I better stop there.
QuoteLet's first start off by saying that I gradutated with a Pshychology degree, so my opinions are biased and unbiased at the same time. (if that can be..)
off topic, but a pshycology major selling fishing lures i think we found our baitmonkey.
Quoteb ( "new worms headed this way............and how does that make you feel?" ;D
all... warm and tingly inside :-?
QuoteThat being said, Alpster's plan is a little deceptive. Planning a trip that you plan to cancel isn't the greatest idea (especially if she ever finds out).
WHOAA!! Back up here a little bit. I said nothing of being deceptive. You must plan a real trip, preferably with other guys who will go on without you. I guess I wasn't clear, but I meant you should be prepared to actually go on this trip. By offering to stay home you only up your chances of going with her blessing. You must run the risk that a real, special fishing trip will be canceled in order to prove that you really do value her more than fishing. It MUST actually cost you a fishing trip. If it's a deception, then you lose all the way around and should seek marriage counseling. I will never suggest that a man lie to his wife under any circumstances!!
Sorry I wasn't clear about that in the original post. :-[
Ronnie
QuoteI guess, the short version, is that if you have to 'prove' to your wife that she is more important than fishing, then you should head to counseling now.
Brent,
I totally agree, but you have to earn trust. My advise is for guys who either haven't been married very long or have relationship issues with their wives. A little self sacrifice is a good place to start.
Ronnie
QuoteAdvice from a woman who has been married 14 years to an avid fisherman.After you apologize to her for your thoughtlessness, reassure her that she means much more to you than fishing. Then explain to her that you would really like to include her in your hobby and that you would really like to be included in hers. Tell her to pack for however may days that you plan on being out of town and that you have some surprises for her to show her how much she means to you. She will pout, but she will go. If she asks about the boat, tell her its part of the surprise.
Some ideas. Call the bed and breakfast, theater, etc. and ask them what they do special for anniversaries. Spend every minute of the week romancing and doing stuff that she likes to do just with her. In addition, Splurge a little-a ten year anniversary is special to a women. Get her some small gifts, flowers, etc. to give her periodically through the weekend. Tell her she looks beautiful
Then Monday- Wed. You should take her on the lake one day, don't fish too long and don't fish the whole time. Do some joy riding, talk to her about your hobby and have her talk to you about hers. If she reads or works crosswords, etc, have her a book handy or whatever that you picked up yourself just for her. You might even have the bed and breakfast fix you a romantic picnic lunch for the bank.
The rest of the week you should be able to fish, but make sure you come in before dinner and that you have dinner/evening plans that you planned based on your wife's interests. In addition make sure you have her some activities planned while your fishing each day. Know where the shops are, book her a tour, whatever, (the local chamber of commerce should be able to help you with this.) Discuss the different things at dinner and you might want to offer some spending money. But, by all means,l her that you missed her company while you were on the lake. This shows her that you are taking her needs into your consideration and that she is special to you.
Hope this helps.
Bekki
That was nice and thoughtful but I would rather be in the dog house. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife but darn. :-?
QuoteQuoteAdvice from a woman who has been married 14 years to an avid fisherman.After you apologize to her for your thoughtlessness, reassure her that she means much more to you than fishing. Then explain to her that you would really like to include her in your hobby and that you would really like to be included in hers. Tell her to pack for however may days that you plan on being out of town and that you have some surprises for her to show her how much she means to you. She will pout, but she will go. If she asks about the boat, tell her its part of the surprise.
Some ideas. Call the bed and breakfast, theater, etc. and ask them what they do special for anniversaries. Spend every minute of the week romancing and doing stuff that she likes to do just with her. In addition, Splurge a little-a ten year anniversary is special to a women. Get her some small gifts, flowers, etc. to give her periodically through the weekend. Tell her she looks beautiful
Then Monday- Wed. You should take her on the lake one day, don't fish too long and don't fish the whole time. Do some joy riding, talk to her about your hobby and have her talk to you about hers. If she reads or works crosswords, etc, have her a book handy or whatever that you picked up yourself just for her. You might even have the bed and breakfast fix you a romantic picnic lunch for the bank.
The rest of the week you should be able to fish, but make sure you come in before dinner and that you have dinner/evening plans that you planned based on your wife's interests. In addition make sure you have her some activities planned while your fishing each day. Know where the shops are, book her a tour, whatever, (the local chamber of commerce should be able to help you with this.) Discuss the different things at dinner and you might want to offer some spending money. But, by all means,l her that you missed her company while you were on the lake. This shows her that you are taking her needs into your consideration and that she is special to you.
Hope this helps.
Bekki
That was nice and thoughtful but I would rather be in the dog house. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife but darn. :-?
X2 why should there have to be any effort on my part, after all i am the bread winner in this family. and no she would not find this the least bit funny ;D :
I would put forth some effort but not all of that. Women that need all of that has issues and I wouldn't be putting a ring on her finger. Read between the lines and the fine print. And if you are a man doing this, reach up and grab a set.
Hold on!!!
I have been married 20 years this June, been with the same woman 27 years (HS sweethearts), and our marriage has always been 50/50 as much as possible. All these guys saying that "Their the boss!" and "I don't ask no woman for permission to do anything!" are full of, well you know, and are the FIRST ones to be a "Honey do husbands!"
That being said, she told me this weekend that I needed therapy for this "bass fishing thing!"......(O.C.D. that I am!!) and she was serious!!! I told her about everyone on BassResource.com and that most were crazier than me. She said, in that case, we should all get a group rate at the therapist!!
She brought me back to reality. I have been selfish recently about fishing, without even realizing it.
MARRIAGE IS ABOUT TALKING TO EACH OTHER GOOD OR BAD!!!
Don't assume you know how your woman is feeling, or you will end up without one!!!
JMHO from a guy maried 20 years, June, 2008.
Peace all!!!
ajr
i once had a girlfriend get mad because i wouldn't take her fishing. the only reason she wanted to go was because i was spending more time fishing than i was with her. so i alleviated the problem by going fishing even more. true story.
Quotei told my wife the other day my day's off were coming next weekend and since our anniversary is the first week of june and i'll probably be on the rig that day if she wanted to go see this play and stay at a bed and breakfast next weekend (like she's been wanting to do for a long time). i then asked her if she wanted to drive her own vehicle so i could go ahead and pull my boat since i would be close to lake to fish mon. thru wed. after her reaction to that i told her we would go together and come home sun. then i would leave mon. morning to fish. this morning she told me to just go ahead and go fishing all 5 day's because if she had to have her annivesary weekend revolve around a fishing trip, no thanks. so i guess i'll just do that but what did i say that was so wrong. her > me :-/ ;D
You screwed up big time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QuoteHold on!!!I have been married 20 years this June, been with the same woman 27 years (HS sweethearts), and our marriage has always been 50/50 as much as possible. All these guys saying that "Their the boss!" and "I don't ask no woman for permission to do anything!" are full of, well you know, and are the FIRST ones to be a "Honey do husbands!"
That being said, she told me this weekend that I needed therapy for this "bass fishing thing!"......(O.C.D. that I am!!) and she was serious!!! I told her about everyone on BassResource.com and that most were crazier than me. She said, in that case, we should all get a group rate at the therapist!!
She brought me back to reality. I have been selfish recently about fishing, without even realizing it.
MARRIAGE IS ABOUT TALKING TO EACH OTHER GOOD OR BAD!!!
Don't assume you know how your woman is feeling, or you will end up without one!!!
JMHO from a guy maried 20 years, June, 2008.
Peace all!!!
ajr
Sir, not sure if you are referring to me but if you are, I'm far from a Honey do Husband. I've been married far little over a year but we have been together 12 years. I'm a firm believer in 50/50 but not what was posted by Ms. RHB. There is NO WOMAN worth that.
** Moderator Note **
Well, I think six pages is just about enough...
Goodnight Irene.