Boat Ramp Comedy Show 2024

rondef reply :

I went out fishing Saturday morning and came back to the ramp around 1:00 PM. What I saw when I arrived at the ramp looked like I was watching an old Abbott and Costello show. I guy was using his BMW SUV to launch an extremely large boat. Needless to say the back end of the SUV was sagging so bad it almost looked like the tires were rubbing against the top of the wheel wells. When he backed down the ramp he bottomed out the trailer and he got it stuck. They took about 30 minutes trying to figure a way to get the SUV and the trailer moving again. In the mean time the ramps were backed up with people waiting to launch their boats as well as fisherman trying to get out of the water. They finally rocked back and fourth putting a major strain (smoking the tires) on the BMW before they got the trailer moving and the boat in the water. Once they got the boat in the water they kept the BMW blocking the ramp for an addtional 15 minutes. I could only imagine how they were going to get the boat out since this is a tidal river and the tide was going out.

harshman reply :

I wish you could have gotten pictures...... ;D ;D ;D ;D

harshman

HPBB reply :

I wish I could have seen it.. was it a X3 or X5 BMW?

I bet it was a X3 ( the smaller one)(I have hear they suck)

I know the X5 with the V8 can tow really good.

a guy I work with has one, a 2006, and he tows a large covered car trailer with it, and it has rear leveling suspention so it doesn't sag at all. has no problem towing it at all

rondef reply :

I am not sure what model it was, I don't know that much about them. I just sat there laughing at them because he really beat on that vehicle. I had my camera but didn't even think to take pictures. Next time something like this happens I will get some pictures. I usually see stuff like this about once a month. We have a lot of inexperienced boaters launching at one of our tidal rivers.

gatorblazer reply :

I watched a guy Sat that was putting in his big 454 powered RED boat who didnt know what he was doing. He backed down the ramp, boat didnt float. He kept backing down, no float. All this time, his teenage daughter is pulling on the bow line trying pull this massive boat off the trailer. With the suburban almost halfway in the water, it dawns on him that he didnt remove the transom straps. So he gets out of the truck, swims to the back and undoes the straps. The boat at this point is not floating like he likes, so he dives under to see whats going on, realizes that does not have the plug in. He swims back to the truck, pulls up, plug in, and finally launches the thing.

I could get a cooler of beer and a beach chair and sit on the dock all day watching these people.

SnowBass23 reply :

Wow,...those are two big ones. Both stories show complete unpreparedness (is that a word?). It seems everybody thinks you just hook any thing to a hitch and you're good to go. And then people get to the ramp and don't bother to do the 'prep off to the side somewhere' that we have all learned. I wondered when I started reading up on boating why EVERY single piece of info I read about launching a boat said you should find an out of the way place to prep so you don't crowd the ramp. And then I found out why!

It is funny also, that IME it has never bee na fisherman clogging things up. It is always some guy with a biiig ski boat, a bunch of friends (or kids) and coolers that seems to not have any clue to launch a boat.

Stupidity is unforgiveable in my book. I am just learning myself, so I won't give anyone a hard time when it is just a matter of experience. I certainly learned the hard way all the little things it might take to put a boat back on the trailer or to launch. So if I see someone that is taking time because they are having trouble (in other words, it comes from inexperience and not being a big tool!) I will gladly help them out. Those few people that saw me struggling at the ramp the first few times were a big help and really helped me learn, so I'm happy to return the favor.

gatorblazer reply :

Everyone will make a mistake or three. Even the guys in the Elite Series will screw up. But these people act like they "know" what they are doing and dont accept help, or they feel that they are entitled to all the time at the ramp that they want. how many times have you seen someone launch, then pull their boat to the courtesy dock , still blocking the ramp, and wait for the fam to get in. :-/

Daniel My Brother reply :

As Homer Simpson says "It's funny 'cause it's not me".

slice reply :

stuff definitely happens. My little v-hull had only been out twice, both times with my wife and I. Each of those times I carefully explained the whole launching procedure, including how ABSOLUTELY important it is to put that little plug in.

Then I took the boat out the third time, this time by myself. Got the boat launched and tied to the dock, went to park the truck, and just as I was getting ready to close the door i realized that the plug was in my pocket.

I sprinted to the dock to see my boat half full of water. I dragged her to the ramp to prevent further sinkage, and had to basically back my truck halfway into the water to get her back on the trailer so I could empty her. (no bilge pump. stupid. got one now)

Funny thing was i had spent the previous afternoon repairing leaking rivets and was looking forward to the outing to find out if they had all sealed. :

I spent the day fishing in my wet boat with wet gear, laughing at myself for being "one of those guys"

fishfordollars reply :

Boat ramps in the summer are always good for a few laughs.

HPBB reply :

see, the best time for watching the ramp is in the fall. at least where my camp is. I have a camp at the Yough Dam, (south Of Pittsburgh Pa, on the Pa/ Maryland borrder) well, my camp is by the main mairena, and there is a date in the fall that all the boat have to be taken off the docks for the winter. we sit on our deck and watch the show. I mean some of these people have had their boats for 10-20 years, but they only take them out once a year. it is the best show going. It never seem sto fail, but some people do the same thing wrong each year. this is just a few things we see. these are the common ones.

1. poeple with pontoon boats, that back their truck in way to deep, then come into the trailer to fast and smash right into the back of the truck. we saw one guy put his pontoon onto of the bed of his truck.

2. leave the outdrive/outboard down and drag it up the ramp. then relize someting is wrong and try to back back down the ramp. I know a freind at a local shop said he repais about 20 outdrive each winter becasue of that.

3. I really don't get this one. they leave the motor running as they pull the boat up the ramp, and some will leave them running for a few minutes as they sit in the parking lot.

4. forget to set th e brake, or leave the truck in reverse. I think I see at least 2-3 truckes a year haveing to get pulled out of water over the hood.

5. takes them 20 30 tries to back down the ramp. people ask to help them, but no. I had one guy that was on the ramp, no lie, for 3 hours one friday, couldn't back the trailer up. I went over and asked if he need help. he yell at me and told me to mind my own buseiness. he never did get it down the ramp. he drove away and the boat sat there till the next day tied to the dock. I don't know who came and got it. it was gone when I came back in from fishing.

6. the fights are classic. watching husbands and wives screem at each other. cause each know how to do it better, when either has no idea what they are doing. and those are the same people that will fight next year.

James Heddon reply :

I chose not to find humor in boat ramp mishaps. It could (and may very well) happen to me some day.

jeepcrazy reply :

I choose to find as much humor in it as possible so I don't start hurling the ice chest at the offending parties.

Actually I've committed about every dumb stunt there is at the ramp, save hogging it. I swamped my jon boat because I was too careless to put the plug in. That sucked. I launched my bass boat with dead batteries on an electric only lake, that sucked.

I've done it all...and it was funny when it was me! I just love being out there at all.

bassdocktor reply :

My favorite and probably most disturbing was happened when my dad and I were coming in from fishing. There was this entire family swimming at the launch because that is allowed. The lake is only 69 acres and is gravel with a small cement slab.

As we see this family they don't want to move at first even though I am idling in with my bass boat. Finally the move, no big deal. But the best was yet to come. Just as my dad is about to jump off to get the truck we see the dad coming running with his shampoo. He procedes to wash his hair in the lake. We got out of there before we could find out but apparently it must have been family bath day.

South FLA reply :

Quote
I could get a cooler of beer and a beach chair and sit on the dock all day watching these people.

People actually do at the Black Point Marina in S. Miami.

The novices are tons of fun to watch and since its Miami you see plenty of glitzy vehicles and boats, as well as your occasional testosterone induced fights. Who needs T.V. entertainment, when you can watch boat ramp traffic.

gatorblazer reply :

A comic named Mickey Dean once said, " I dont write comedy, I just watch people and report what I see."

Bad Fish reply :

I got a good one,,,,,I did this,,,my local lake has no dock and a very gradual launch ramp,,,in the early spring and fall with the water cold I want to avoid getting my feet wet,,,I would free up about a boat length of strap from my winch and set the clutch so the clicker would engauge when the slack ran out slowing the boat as it floated off the trailer,,,well one day I forgot to open the clutch on the winch,,I backed up rather fast to sling shot the boat off the trailer,,,the boat floats off the trailer as usual the slack tightens,as I wait for the clicking of the winch I here snap!!!!!!!the hook breaks in half sending the reamaining part and the wench strap through the back window of my two week old trail blazer,,,,in addition I had to hitch a ride to go get my boat :-?

Olebiker reply :

Wench:

Winch:

Zel... reply :

Good one Olebiker. I've had my wench snap on me a few times... not pretty either.

Bad Fish reply :

correction made ;D

fishfordollars reply :

When I fish some of the larger tournaments I just unhook everything, back it down, and sent it sailing out into the cove away from as many as possible. I go park and get anyone to give me a lift out to my boat. Keeps from me tying up the ramp when fishing by myself.

Be sure to trim the motor up and have it straight or it's a mess though.

I also do not advise anyone that is not completely familiar with this procedure to try it. A few of us have done it for years, but it can certainly damage another's boat if you are not careful.

simplejoe reply :

The only time I really had a problem was this past Father's Day I left in the morning and went to launch my boat I don't use the winch I use a rope well I backed up to slingshot my boat off it shot off the trailer and heard SNAP I thought oh s..t pulled up got out of the truck my boat was out about 50 feet. looked around and noticed the parking lot was empty so I put my cell phone in my mouth and swam out to get it and bring it back beached it went and park the truck then noticed I didn't have any extra clothes heck with it I'm going fishing. went out on the boat soaking wet ;D

fishfordollars reply :

Quote
The only time I really had a problem was this past Father's Day I left in the morning and went to launch my boat I don't use the winch I use a rope well I backed up to slingshot my boat off it shot off the trailer and heard SNAP I thought oh s..t pulled up got out of the truck my boat was out about 50 feet. looked around and noticed the parking lot was empty so I put my cell phone in my mouth and swam out to get it and bring it back beached it went and park the truck then noticed I didn't have any extra clothes heck with it I'm going fishing. went out on the boat soaking wet ;D

Been there and done that, except I had launched on the river below Sam Rayburn d**n. I was alone also. Left the truck and trailer in the water, striped off completely and swam for the boat. Did not think about it at the time but there were gators in the river. As luck would have it I got to the boat completely naked, drove the boat back to the ramp just as a family arrived to launch their pontoon boat. That was a little tricky but everyone had a good laugh about it and I did not embarress myself any more than I already had.

simplejoe reply :

LOL It never dawned on me to strip down I just wanted my boat back. I wish I had a picture to see that exact moment when you saw that family show up. ;D ;D ;D

XcoM274 reply :

My place is two doors down from the launch. Man you can sit there all day and watch these people. I should post some videos. We position chairs and "rate" the launchers from 1 to 10. Great fun. I'd have to say my favorite was one guy who came in with an old 5 speed Bronco and a 26 footer. He did alright getting it in, but then the extraction was another story. He got it on the trailer and started to pull it up and his clutch went right as it took the load. The whole rig starts rolling back into the drink. He hit the E brake right before the engine went under, but he didn't save the interior. Of course, he wasn't a fisherman. lol Good laughs.

fishfordollars reply :

Quote
LOL It never dawned on me to strip down I just wanted my boat back. I wish I had a picture to see that exact moment when you saw that family show up. ;D ;D ;D

They were backing down the ramp as I was idling up to the ramp. It looked like a ton of kids and a wife or two, but was actually two men and their wives and three children all under the age of ten. They were laughing a lot when they found out I only had a small hand towel and a life jacket to cover up with. One of the men grabed my shorts and tshirt off the back of my truck and brought them to me thankfully. I laid down in the boat and put them on and we all had a good laugh.

Crowcommander reply :

If you really want to have fun go on the 4th of July to a large public ramp,get a good reclining lawn chair,cold cooler of your favorite what ever and watch the circus. They're be wives/girl friends who can't back down the ramp,dead batterys,bad fuel,tie down straps not removed,winches not removed,etc. What a country!!! Crowcommander

rondef reply :

I hear you, the 4th of July weekend will be fun to watch, I will bring my camera to take pictures that weekend. I will post any pictures I take in this thread.

BASS fisherman reply :

I know a guy who one cold, early morning before sunup is at the ramp by himself. He goes to launch his boat and does the hold onto the rope trick. He launches the boat and lightly ties the rope to a rock. He parks his truck and trailer and when he gets down to the water, he notices his boat slowely floating away.

Being the only one at the lake so far, and decided to strip and swim for the boat. He goes and gets the boat, swims back and as he is standing there butt naked, on a cold morning, a bass club pulls down the road to the ramp. I don't remember what happened next. Maybe he can fill in the blanks.

Jim?

AnthonyRSS reply :

It doesn't bother me that someone isn't any good at backing a trailer, or forgets to unlatch something. Its the people that hold up the ramp to work on their boat, or block the ramp while prepping. Don't typically see anglers do that, just the twice a year pleasure boaters.

Anthony

SnowBass23 reply :

Since we have another twice a year boater's holiday next week I think I'll have to get the chair and watch this time. I love seeing huge ski boats with attractive ladies in swimsuits yelling "Huh?" across the marina to some sun-burnt drunk without a shirt as he yells corrections.

Don't know how many times I've seen that. He screams and yells at her as she backs the truck up wrong to trailer it, etc. Then, after all that, he is sitting in the boat, and yells at her to pull him out. Then you hear the scraping as the outboard chips the pavement because he didn't trim it. HAHA

71Rig reply :

I had the great fortune to meet Bob Clouser when I was a member of TU in Pennsylvania. For you that don't know him he "invented" the Clouser Minnow fly and is a professional guide on the Susquehanna River. He told us a story of taking a client out on the river one morning and in the dark. and also in a rush, forgot to tie the boat up when he went to park the truck. The client showed up, they walked down to the river and both looked at the empty ramp in disbelief. As I remember, he had a nice walk down river to retrieve his boat. So even the legends do it now and again.

Just so happens that I forgot my plug this past weekend. At least the boat was still hooked to the trailer when I noticed. I think that was the last time I will make that mistake.

Long Mike reply :

Not to hijack the thread, but I keep my boat plug clipped to the boat's ignition key. It's really hard to forget about the plug when you are about to fire up the boat. I think I got the idea from Bassin' magazine.

SnowBass23 reply :

This isn't funny, but speaking of idiots at the launch... My wife and I went out at about 6 pm tonight to fish the 'magic hour'. We launched, knowing full well that there were still a lot of pleasure boaters out. Since we stay until after dark it usually isn't an issue (except for their constant wakes in no wake zones and right up on shore).

Tonight however, while it was still good and light out a storm started rolling in. There were some clouds off in the distance and I knew they were approaching. Suddenly I saw a flash and knew it was time to head back.

When we got back to the ramp there were 2 trucks backed into the water with their jet-skis setting on the trailers. Between the trailers a group of out-of-shape soccer moms and one dad were just having a good old time. I thought for sure they'd be nice enough to get out of the way when they saw me pull to the dock (I might add I could see 3 more boats coming in a few minutes behind me). So they keep talking and I go get my truck. When I pull up next to the lanes they keep on talking. So I sat patiently for a few minutes. With no sign of them leaving I finally had to go over and ask them to move their conversation elsewhere since lightning was rolling in and everybody else was trying to get to safety.

After reading stories on here about how important it is to not block the lanes, and get in and out ASAP, it kills me to see people just sitting there taking their time. Anyway... Oh, and my wife outfished me. All though we had an arguement that she shouldn't count the one that jumped and threw the worm 10 feet from the boat! (she won the arguement...giving her the tie-breaker :-? )

kms399 reply :

I watched a guy back down and wonder why his boat wasn't floating, he walked into the water and realized he hadn't undone the strap holding the boat down so he bent down to loosen the strap and when he did the boat shot up and smashed him in the chin. u could have heard the swearing for miles he had blood all over his face but u have to give him credit he still went fishing

Sam reply :

Your stories point out why I fish on weekdays.

I have most boat ramps to myself along with the rivers and lakes when fishing.

flechero reply :

I usually ask anyone that makes more than 4-5 tries to back down, if they want a hand... surprisingly, I rarely get a refusal. I think it must be that I approach them with a straight face.

SnowBass23 reply :

I've noticed that when I'm securing my boat on the trailer, everyone that has ever come out and asked for help started it by first coming over and asking how the fishing was. Kind of an ice breaker I guess. They ask how you did, then when you ask how they did they casually mention a problem they're having (with loading, securing, or whatever else).

I'd never turn down someone who needed help when they are polite about it. I've been fortunate enough not to require help after my first time launching and recovering but I learned a valuable lesson on the importance of help from strangers!

OH-bass614 reply :

my dad and i are planning on buying a boat withng the next month and all this is making me nervous lol :-/

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Boat Ramp Comedy Show 2024

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